I should change

In life, no one comes and no one can change your life other dan your self. I have made a 30 days plan for myself. I truly hope I stick to it. Also I would like to make another pact of staying away from all my friends and gf and every one for one week. I will just switch off my fone and mails . Lets see who turns up and who doesnt . as I keep on comparing my life with them, is it really fair to compare my life with them?.

I should start living my life, I have my own life, i should live it,. I should be happy. I guess so. because I cant be sad all time, People hate me, my gf hates me to d core.

I should probably live my life. I shouldnt compare. As I said 1month, 30 days pact. I would be a better person in 30days.

The only and only condition would be, not to complain Not at all complain and compare.

Second would be go for running for 1mile a day. thats it

Trying to be happy.

Try to concentrate on studies

In life there will be hundred people who would say you can be that successful and who will give you should do this that for successful and but you are the one who is driving your car.

During my college days, I had a charm in me , I use to finish all thejobs alone, I use to go to college, I use to study and get good grades not top but okay average. along with that I use to do loads of other work and tension. May be that tension was betterdan this idling life. I still love my dad a lot. I miss my dad a lot. I am alone in this entire life just a lonely soul

I would like to regain my interests, My dad would never wanna see me dying like this. He would scold me , he wanted to see me happy.. Smiling. I will smile I will come back I will start today. I will come backa nd I will start my life. I am gonna deal with it. I will go tomo to a psychiatrist and see what she has to offer me and ll lead a better life.



A lonely Soul 

In Bangalore and life has changed but it remained same.

We have shifted to bangalore, so called silicon city or heaven for engineers. bangalore has lots of IT companies and so on. I have shifted to bangalore looking for a job and change of place.

We shifted to a new place and from one side its good. New place new house lil bit of discipline and lot more. New CFL bulbs not old Tube light. House is elegant now. But its the same old life you know, I have to do all the work on my own. Not a single penny is covered by others and neither any one loves to be with me.

I got my internet connection just now and thought wil come back and write something for d sake of love.

My mom asked me to give 10 reasons to say how miserable life it is.

1. I dont have a dad, Dad I loved a lot. You know few days back I visited to hassan to my massi s place and there the host is of 56 years and still he has dad and he is d head of the family. can u believe? I am just 21 and I lost my dad at the age of 20 and stil I am working my ass of like an ass to do each and every work.

2. At the age of 20, I have got so much of burden over head. I am tired man. I dont need so much of burden or so much  of work , i am a kid, I wanna live the bachelor life . I wanna go roam and wanna be alone for few years atleast one or two.

3. Every person I know is havnig the best life than me. Or I can say that every person I know is having a lot better life than me. Lets take an example of

• Avijit pandith, he is doing fcking great and me a loser.
• Naveen, he has a got a job and he is going on november till den aaramse mast time pass .. eat outs no frustation
• Pavan, joined class got new friends, new life
• Sachin, who is enjoying his life in office, got into a company life is good for him,, visited resort
• Vasuda , working for techmahendra
• vibha, she is having d most beatiful life among all the people i knw. life is what every one dreams off for her. She is born with a silver platter and golden spoon. 
• nikhil narayankar, damn I cant even say anything. May be every single person dreams of life like his, lots of trips . happiness is all over him and noone can beat it, recently uploaded a pic of being in SOUDI
• sampada , got a job some where
• gaurav , in cochi working for wipro
• sayed going for infosys
• shreyaas going fr d same
• shayma same

Every person i knw is having a better life dan me

4.I dont have a house to stay

5. At this very yooung age I am doing each and every shit alone I am tired.. or may be i m repeating this again

6. Laptop lost my wife.

7. NO job

8.

Not a single person on earth can understand what I am going through, Its a lonely life.

Year later still havent figured out

Was feeling too low so thought of reading my personal blog, And Its one year from my last post saying WTF I am doing in my life and here I am standing on the same position. May be even more worse. I tried to solve a simple PHP question and guess what I suck! I suck to d power of infinity. It was d simplest program ever any one gonna hear but still I couldnt.

Its a year and I am shitting in my own bed and doing nothing. Most of the time I sleep on my bed or cry or watch some movie or serial. Every one I knew have figured out their life. Every one has their own happy life. Every one enjoying their life a lot. My friends got into many companies some even started to work and here I am sitting in my room and cribbing. I have to change. My so called gf has got into MS and she dont even remember I exist she is way too much busy in her own life, She got loads of new friends, new guy friends, new joking. Always life of smiles and happiness. You know she has born with golden spoon in her mouth if you see her profile its like every jack and jum wants to have a life like hers. Having dnr at Radisson and den moving to Texas for masters, Damn its USA. She is born lucky may be. And now she got plenty of friends and I am d person who is the last person she wanna speak to . I am here sitting in my room and shitting all the time.

May be if its not today I would never get up. I have to workout seriously. Its time for me to get up and start up. Because of so called gf i lost my friends, my friends wont even call me or text me , they dont even ask if i exist or dead. And guess what my relatives they are the worst thing in the world.

You know I am shifting my house to Bangalore and guess what not even one person came to lend any help. I am kid of 21 years and I have to do each and every shit on my own. Lorry loading and unloading every shit. Bank shares, searching home shifting, packing bank, locker , gas, telephone , Voter ID, ration card and hell lot of stuffs and guess what none came to me lending help.

I am writing this and this is a statement saying that NOone stood beside me during my hard times, not even my uncle or not even GF. My gf left me all alone when she was required d most and none was der during my hard times, I will fight alone and turn back to being awesome

I should remember things
1. GP bhat who helped me what ever he could
2. Vijaya of hasan,
3. triveni who atleast offered to come
4. yeah my uncle as he offered his laptop but other dan that nothing
5.keshav rao family spec
6.praveen anna specifically.

I also should remember ppl who didnt bothered to ask
1. gF who left me to die and trust me I am not going back to her. I dont wanna stay with someone who dont want to face the hurdles with me . and yeah may be she desreves better happy person
2. my uncle who called me to ask what happend. who is the so called brother of my dad. He didnt even ask what aam i doing with packing, lorry 'truck', or loading unloading or do I even need  a bit of help. He didnt even ask hw am i doing as I am a small kid and i dont knw any shit but u knw what he asked me? he asked whether packing is over? hw much packing done? did you go to bangalore?
I will remember and I will make a note of it
3.. Geeta malini thes ppl didnt even come to see what my mom so called sis of them doing alone in bgm. they had holidays of 2 months evne for their kids never came to see what my mom or their sis doing, she lost her husband. All fcking bastards i hate them , you knw not even once they came to see what she is doing where as they were too busy treating so called guru as a god and then fcking crap sangita and to impress so called guruji .
I am gonna count i see hw their guru gonna come and let every single person live happily and I will come back to you with my best . and show what i did to my self and yeah fck you all I am better and i m meant to be btter And always LIon stays alone and stands alone . NOt wolves or dogs, only LION and thats me I am gonna show all these assholes what I am worth of what i am capable of

I am gonna come back to every single person when I am good

Really the Life is just about Money????

I am very tired but wanna write on my so called personal blog. Here there is no hurdle of search engine optimisation, Keywords, h1 , h2 tags, links. Its just about what I feel what I wanna write. Just write what I feels like.

Today 

I am very tired, had a kinda rough day. But I wanna write just wanna share what I feel like. Today just got serviced my bike and it costs me 2.4k. I can't make it .. I cant finish this post may be?

The purpose of today s post is my mom today said me to do less expenditure till I get a job! It hurted me a lot. She literally said dude don't do more expenditure. Do expenditure limitedly as we have no income. Unless and until you earn spend less, dont spend lavishly. this I wasn't expecting at any demand atleast from her.I would not b so shocked if any one would have said but it was mom.

How much do I spend ???

I haven't bought any shirts , pants any garments for like almost one year , or might be more dan one year. To be precise I haven;t not even one..
I haven't got any new stuffs to myself, one  might be a headphone.

I haven't demanded anything for myself.
I haven't got wifi even though I wanted it badly.
I haven't got one formal shirt.
I haven't been anywhere.
I don't go for eat out

I cant complete. I cant concentrate on any thing

I sent couple of para s of my blogpost "my first post" to my gf and she almost killed me, She said it hurt to the core and she cried whole day.. I don't understand, She added mee to the list of people who made her cry and who hurt a lot. I suppose I am meant to be in that group only.

We had a long fight or something , I am tired to the power of infinity , I am tired to d fullest. I have temperature and still I am here because I needed some one to speak to, if i say this to her she would cry again n she will kill me too. The thing why i cant say is she will consider d same way what she took d previous thing.

I am tired, my relatives who are dumb asses, my mom who cares me to d power of infinity , I am soo lucky to have sucha caring mom but 

Trip to "AmmbBOLi" on my gf's bday

October 10th 2013 was her birthday and I was hit up with the fever so all the planned things to make it super special got cancelled. Still I managed it to be one of her best birthday at the last moment, here I would like to share how I did it.

Previous night planning , had thought we will go to a resort and spend time together, happily. But I forgot I stay in India and here its so superstitious and backward one, So no gal and guy can be there together in that resort. So planned got cancelled.

Next day morning, my super caring mom forced and pulled me to doc as I had fever. And unfortunately doc said yes you have fever and told me to take complete rest and to eat only cooked healthy food. But what should I do its my gf's birthday I should be with her. Right after the consultation took my bike and went to order the cake, ordered "Caramel with chocolate" cake, her favorite one. Then came back and took a card and came back home. Later planned lets go to gokak falls ( which is known as niagara falls of karnataka) but for my bad luck my car was blocked with some other car from behind so had to wait till 11.30AM.

Finally got my car at 11.30 PM , took the delivery of cake, also bought a rose to her and waited for my gf infront of her hostel for 15mins till she comes back. Mean while before reaching her place I got a lorry which I was forced to follow for 2km which was annoying me like hell, even thought will go n hit that truck :D and in the trial of overtaking that vehicle I would have committed 2 accidents. When I was waiting I made up mind yeah you can drive , yes dude you can dude , motivated myself that I wont get drained in between.

Later my so called gf arrived, the beautiful lady walked with jeans and top, Wished her the best wishes from myside and started driving, she asked where we are heading towards. I said gokak falls mostly, she denied the proposal as I was suffering from fever


draft published today

WTF Am I doing in My LIFE

Seriously Its hard to figure out what the fck Am I doing. I am soo fucking confused. I wanna be successful in my life but I don't know whats stopping me from being successful. I wanna be successful so much that I am not able to sleep, to be frank just 5mins back I tried to go and have a nap for 1hour or so, But I came back because I can't sleep only thing I see is I wanna be successful, I wanna be someone out of the crowd and I want a life where I can get everything I need except my dear dad :-( . So I am writing this to figure out what is really stopping me from getting successful.

Whats stopping me form getting successful ?

1.ZERO CONCENTRATION

If I can recollect I am here in this online earning world from July 2011. I started my first website on july 2011, it was basically a website on computer tricks and tips. It was all going good, I was amazed because I got traffic from google in few days only where as it was very less. Then I learn t about Domain and hosting and all. I bought a domain and started working on that, then even got a server by with very cheap offer by 2012 or so because of  some black friday offer. So it was all set then what was stopping me from working hard??

• I had good domain
• I had hosting for 6months

Then what was it which was stopping me from working and earning some bucks ??
I guess it was just me and my mind set, nothing other than that. I was stopping myself from being successful.

2. Distractions

I always get distracted, I cant stick to one thing. I should really find a solution for this from today. For example I got distracted ryt now to goto google and search for "How not to get distracted" or "How to concentrate on one thing", and once I go out of this full screen for googling definitely I will end up surfing on facebook and where in turn I will end up clicking something on facebook which changes my mind set.

3.New Ideas

• Technology blog : It was all set in 2012 that I would blog on technology and start working like one post per day and all. But then I read about niche websites.
• Niche websites:  From then on I started reading about niche websites because lots of ppl were earning a lot from it, so decided I should do that, got a domain on cancer. Later didn't even write a single post on that too.
• Affiliate Marketing: Then started thinking about affiliate marketing because people were making lot of money from it. Created a clickbank account and started seeing about offers, but by the end of the year couldnt earn a single buck :-p .
• Blog with John Chow:  I heard about Blog with John Chow and then I entered that thing, lost my money there too, But I never even logged in that website to see what information does he even provide.
• Smartincome ebook: I have friend in my fb friend list who earns hell lot of money but the good thing about him is he shares for free, he produced a new ebook about affiliate marketing and I got it and read each and every page of it but I didn't take any kind of action. AGAIN I FAIL!!!! I LOSE!! .. I DONT CONCENTRATION!!!
• CPA network : I started hearing about ppl who are earning from CPA, then again applied to few of the CPA network and even got approved in peerfly and adscend media.
• CPA training : Got to know about a CPA training and the guy who was giving training was a big guy who was earning lakhs crores per month, So I thought I should join this and its really worth of buying it and spent some 17k INR on that.
• Blog commenting : I got a offer on B& S group like Rs.5 per comment, So I thought should start from somewhere, might be this so that would be earning some 2k per month. So I started with this. To be precise today only I started to comment and I was like its soo tough, commenting also is tough, I can't do it and I should probably quit..,
  I SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
  I HATE MYSELF for being suchan asssholeee!!
• Adsense : Now today I have just finished CPA training and I should really work on that and even blog commenting but I saw a post on a friends wall saying he would provide a training on "How to earn from Niche websites via Adsense" for 6k INR, My mind is like lets even go for it..
  HAVE I GONE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SERIOUSLY??
• CPA networking : Another friend of mine posted guaranteed income of 1000$ per month in next 3 months and he would be providing free tutorial, So I commented with "I am interested" But I never take action. I hate myself !!!!!!!!!
  I never take a topic till the end I quit in between.
• Adult CPA: I just viewed a hangout by a giant e marketer and it was awesome but I am not gonna work on that because I am an asshole! and I never take action!!

LOL while typing this again I got distracted and I ended up in facebook and I posted for the complete video again for the above CPA offer and almost 30+mins wasted and literally would have never come back again and this post also would be pending in drafts. But I started thinking what I should alter in my self and then I started smiling that I have kept this post pending and I finally I am back here to complete. I wish I start doing this from now on everything.

WHAT CHANGES I SHOULD MAKE in my LIFE FOR SUCCESSFUL????

• Concentrate on one thing at a time.
• Dont mix up everything
• Try to concentrate on one thing
• Once you take one project take that project till its completion, never leave in between!!
• Don't go beyond get rich in a month product, stick your plan and stick stick stick to it till you finish!!!!!!!!!!!!! till you succeedddddddddddd!!!!!!!
• Find a positive ROI project...
• STUDYYYYYY and STUDYY
• READ READ READ!!!!!!!

 I finally wants to wind up this post here itself, I hope whenever I come back my mind would come back to senses where I am going wrong and finally would start concentrating. Also gonna take a print out of this post for self motivation !!